Bay Window Musings

A friend of mine sent me a quote by Jim Jarmusch today that really resonated with me:

"Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is nonexistent. And don’t bother concealing your thievery—celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: 'It’s not where you take things from—it’s where you take them to.'"

As someone who would someday like to create - and who fears daily that her creativity isn't on a level to do so - this is incredibly comforting. I worry constantly that I'll struggle to convince people that I'm some kind of artist, only to one day come to the personal realization that I'm not, and that I'm not skilled in any of the things that I'm trying so hard to learn. And while that quote doesn't tell me that I'll soon and easily find my niche and discover passion for a series of projects or some facet of media - the passion that's lacking causes my media arts resume to be essentially empty - it does encourage me in the fact that my ideas tend to be less original and more derivative.

We only had one show today, and although our audience was even less responsive than the one last night, I felt like it may have been our best to date. It was a matinee, so after we finished up, Grant (the . . . what was it? Charming, witty, so-and-so ASM?), Simon and I went to the East Village for a while. We took a New York native/USC graduate (Hank, of Frobocop fame) with us, and had a really good time eating cupcakes, drinking coffee, and exploring parts of town clearly too cool for us to hang out in. It was really pleasant. I got home around 8, went out to buy some groceries, and have spent the last several hours fighting the internet for movies on Netflix. Internet always wins.

It's crazy how much my moods can swing in two days, but I feel . . . something-sick tonight. Not exactly home-sick. Not even just lonely for the people I miss, although that's certainly a big part of it. I think I need to figure out a way to get out a little bit more, so I have less time to ponder how big this city is, and how small I feel in comparison. It's not lack of opportunity so much as just a lack of drive to do so - I know enough people that I could start a network, but between my crippling financial worries and my increasing reclusiveness, I mainly just feel like going home early and curling up with some Honey Nut Cheerios and a movie or several episodes of 30 Rock (that I've already seen 50 times).

I'll be fine again tomorrow. I think I'll do some laundry, go hang out at Cafe Perch again, and maybe try to see about doing dinner with someone. Maybe I'll see about finding a project that means something to me, something I can get excited about. Or maybe I'll sleep all day instead . . .